What do you do when you are down, out, miserable and unhappy? When life is kicking you hard and you aren’t sure what to do or where to turn? The four agreements seem IMPOSSIBLE! All you can imagine doing is yelling or crying? Well, my mother in law often said there was a time for tears – so cry and rage and see if that helps
Then read on …
Not an easy question and one I get asked regularly … keeping my self help rant in mind (in a nutshell: not everything helps every one – and if something doesn’t work for you that’s a shame – but there is nothing wrong with you!! test something else) I offer these thoughts for you should you find yourself in this spot (you are human – you will!)
- Accept that sometimes throw away days happen .. if you are in a foul mood and nothing is going right – declare it a throw away day and ride it out.
- Invest in a little self care – and it can be a LITTLE thing … get some sun, have a nap, paint your nails, read a book – you know what your own effective self care looks like.
- Get moving – not for long, not hard but active – jumping jacks, a short walk, leg lifts – whatever it takes to get your blood pumping.
- Take care of JUST ONE THING – sort a drawer you keep putting off, match your socks, groom your dog, weed your garden.
- Let yourself laugh – load up something sure to make you chuckle and enjoy that moment – each instant you can reach a more positive perspective – not sure what to watch? Try this or This or anything else that gets you chuckling!
- Check when you last ate and drank – fuel and hydration can make a real difference to mood
- Do something nice for someone else – smile at the grocery store, shovel your neighbour’s walk, phone someone who is lonely, take flowers to a senior’s center. Go set a jump, make your dog’s day! Cook a treat and share it with someone.
- Think about your perspective – yes right now sucks but consider Andrea’s rule of five … will it matter in 5 minutes, hours, days. months or years?
- Work on your gratitude practice- believe me I know it’s hard – in fact it feels impossible but break it down into the smallest step possible. Can you see something you are glad is in your life? Hear something that makes you smile? Touch something that grounds you? Recall a taste that gives you pleasure? Find something wonderful to smell that you appreciate…. do whatever it takes to find ONE little thing you are glad is in your life. Of course if something bigger or intangible comes to mind go with that!
- Speak to a real human …. yep – go offline for 10 minutes. (I know you can) and TALK to someone in person, or on the phone. That might involve going out into your community, or talking to your dog (it’s ok we all talk to our dogs I promise!!)
- Don’t forget – you control your thoughts – they don’t control you – so take proactive action. Set time limits for your mood or give a negative thought a time to return … Write the negative down – tear it up, set it on fire – LET IT GO !
- Take time to breathe – so many types of breathing might help: a) box breathing -inhale, hold, exhale for same (usually ) count b) count breathing – inhale for 4 count, exhale for 5 count (feel the air move through your body) c) I Am breathing – breathe in think “I am ” breathe out think something positive “calm” “strong” “going to be OK” all leap to my mind though use what works for you … if you need to hear more on these check my sound cloud channel for a walk through!
- Dance like no one is watching – or at least groove away to some favoured tunes/videos
- Connect to the natural world – pat your dog, groom your horse, go for a walk and pat a tree, feel sun on your face – whatever works for you
- Reach out if you need some more help – in North America you can text “start” to 741-741 for a crisis counselor to text with. You can also call your emerg line (911 here – I expect you know your #). You can phone a crisis line too in the States: 1-800-273-8255 Canada: check https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/ for a local crisis line Australia: 13 11 14. and the United Kingdom 58 58 58 0800 58 58 58